Euphenisms

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 The use of euphemisms has always fascinated me, gentle reader.

One on-line dictionary defines the meaning of the word as - "the substitution of a mild, indirect, or vague expression for one thought to be offensive, harsh, or blunt".

That sounds about right. Let's test it by applying it to some well-known, and frequently used expressions.

National service is a clear example. That was what I apparently performed when I was "called up" in 1969-70. I'm still not clear whom I was "serving". It certainly wasn't the nation, if the nation in question was Australia, as nothing I did during that period was in the national interest.

It was intended to be in service of the national government at the time. That government was a Coalition which needed Democratic Labor Party preferences to maintain a majority in the senate.

A more accurate term is "conscription", but that sounds a little blunt, and is a poor fit for the ANZAC mythology. Australian soldiers are supposed to be noble volunteers, after all.

Following the military thread, always a rich vein, there is collateral damage. That term originated in U.S. military jargon during the Vietnam war. Again, a more suitable combination of words would be "unintended or incidental death or damage", but that's also pretty blunt.

I saw an example of collateral damage when the digger a few metres behind me was shot in the face by the platoon following us when his sweat-stained greens looked black. He survived, but needed plastic surgery when his face was slashed by an errant round.

I guess another popular euphemism describing this incident would be friendly fire. It felt anything but friendly at the time.

Other examples include "laid off" instead of "sacked", and "negative cash flow" instead of "broke".

Then there's "not the sharpest tool in the shed", instead of "thick", "light-fingered" for "thieving" and "cook the books" for "fraud".

I could go on, but you get the drift.