Thursday, 5 July 2012

Here Endeth the Lesson


A very different chuch service - FSB Anne - April 1970






































This time yesterday I was preaching.

My bride would say that this is nothing new, but when I say “preaching” I mean the full Monty – in a church, in front of a congregation.

Even stranger, this was an Anglican church. I’m a Mick.

It came about through a bizarre set of circumstances. I had a speaking gig at this parish, which was to happen after their regular once per month Wednesday morning service.

I’d prepared a PowerPoint, but when I got there, found that the necessary technology wasn’t installed in the hall where I was to speak, but in the church.

The minister suggested that I show that part of my presentation in the church instead. This seemed OK, except that one of the pictures I was planning to show was actually taken in a Vung Tau bar, and I wondered how that would go down in a church.

Bar girls and morning devotions didn’t seem entirely compatible. When I showed the presentation to the minister, he laughed off my concerns, explaining that they were a broad church with broad minds.

Broad bums came to mind as well, but I didn’t think it was appropriate to mention it, so I didn’t.

That wasn’t all he negotiated in that conversation. He was a stand-in minister and hadn’t prepared a homily, so he suggested that as I was already going to be on my feet, I might as well deliver the homily.

He was very persuasive, and I agreed. After all, I’ve been attending mass every Sunday for the last 65 years, so I had an idea of what was required. That’s about 3300 homilies I’ve sat through – do the maths.

There was some furious mental gymnastics going on in my head, which resulted in a resolve to make a simple point about reconciliation. So I did.

I can’t really remember what I said, but they listened, the body language was good, and nobody nodded off.

The service was indistinguishable from a Catholic mass. I don’t know why we just don’t amalgamate. It worked with councils.

They were a great group of people, and I enjoyed the tucker and conversation that came later. Anglicans always do good spreads. I sold a few books and won the lucky door prize – a good morning’s work.

You should always do something new every day – I can recommend preaching.  

Wednesday, 4 July 2012

Toowoomba Drivers
















 I didn't need the Toowoomba Chronicle to tell me what I already know.

It may have something to do with the proportion of retired cow cockies living here, the belief that the right-of-way rule applies on roundabouts, or the whimsical traffic engineering.

Maybe all three.

The most dangerous drivers are those wearing hats.

If you see a hat on a driver's head, be very afraid.

Sunday, 1 July 2012

Elegant Imagery






































One of my kids sent me this.

Despite all the hype, the figures haven't changed much for 2012. 

It puts this non-issue into perspective, and holds our politicians and media up to the ridicule they so thoroughly deserve.

Stats are from UNHCR.

Friday, 29 June 2012

Mazda at Le Mans




It's worth remembering that Mazda won Le Mans in 1991.

I'd watch this just for the sound.

Be careful with your speaker volumes - it might make your ears bleed.

Take a Breath of Fresh Air

I'm posting this piece from today's Toowoomba Chronicle, as it is a breath of fresh air given the polemic that the MSM spreads on this issue.

It's also written by someone who puts his money where his mouth is. Mark works daily with refugees in Toowoomba, and he has a much better idea of what he's on about than the excuses for columnists who use the issue to sell papers and inprove ratings.

And what is most remarkable, it was published in the Toowoomba Chronicle.

The current editor must have been asleep at his desk.

An extract -

Reducing the number of lives lost, risks taken by border protection personnel and trauma suffered by those taking these dangerous journeys is a goal most Australians would agree with.
A return to the harsh regime of temporary protection visas and years of detention in offshore locations costs millions of dollars and damages lives in the process.
The moral problem with such measures is that we are using one group of vulnerable people to send a message to another group of vulnerable people.
A cartoon created by the advocacy group chil-out (Children Out of Detention) depicted a child behind the razor wire.
The child wore a t-shirt with the message, "I want to be a deterrent when I grow up".

He sums up - 


It's time to collectively take a breath.
Boat people are not a huge threat to our way of life.
The debate around asylum seekers is crying out for some real leadership.
A compassionate response is not beyond us.
It will not be simple.
It will not be easy.
But let's not lose our humanity along the way.

Thursday, 28 June 2012

Over It
























I’ve been watching, with increasing dismay, the performance of our parliamentarians and their camp followers (the mainstream media) on the asylum-seeker issue.

Recently a couple of boats have foundered, and many people have drowned. This is intolerable, and the endless loops of body bags and floating corpses in life jackets have driven home the point.

I’m a little confused by the current hype, given that the greatest death toll involving asylum seekers, that of SIEV X on October 22, 2001 drew very little attention in the local media at the time.

It was reported, but there was nowhere near the saturation coverage we’re seeing now.
Best estimates had 353 people, including 146 children, 142 women and 65 men drowning in that incident, which occurred incidentally in the days of offshore processing and TPVs.

I don’t recall tears in parliament over that. Come to think of it, I don’t recall tears in parliament over the more than 400 diggers killed in Vietnam. But that’s another story.

This is not to dismiss the tragic nature of these most recent drownings, but simply to point out the confected nature of the media coverage. It is every bit as contrived as the posturing on the floor of both houses today.

At least the Greens, despite all the crap directed at them, have a set of principles on this issue which don’t change to suit the current media meme.

This is a complex and vexatious problem, but I wonder whether stripping it down to its basics might shed some light.

The basic facts are not complicated.

There are thousands of refugees holed up in Indonesia and Malaysia. If they were to follow the UNCHR processes they could expect to wait up to seventy years or more to get to Australia using officially sanctioned means. Arrivals coming this way using official channels have been averaging 60 per year from each country. I doubt too many are prepared to wait for this process to reach its conclusion.

They want to come to Australia, of course. Why wouldn’t they? We are a country that respects human rights as indicated by our support of UNHCR processes.

There is a well-organised cohort of people smugglers who, for a price, will offer them passage to Australia on dodgy boats.  Some don’t make it, and drown on the way. They’re desperate, and will continue to take the risk whilst ever this trade continues.

We have international obligations under the UNHCR conventions. All our major political parties recognise these conventions, and use them (when it suits) to justify their policies.

Put simply, the refugees are stuck in countries not too far to our North. They have a right under conventions we recognise to seek asylum here. We could take this population out of the official camps, process them in the host countries, and fly them to Australia more or less overnight.

They would have no need to pay people smugglers. The so-called business model would fall in a heap.

This assumes, of course, that we really do welcome refugees. A quick read of any of the right wing blogs reveals of course, a rich vein of racist xenophobia which continues to hold our politicians in thrall since wee Johnny used it to help him win an election.

The same xenophobia existed in the days of the Vietnamese boat people, but back then we had politicians with backbone who offered leadership, so we processed them and brought them here anyway.

I witnessed this xenophobia first hand when driving a busload of Vietnamese kids to a cinema in Enoggera in 1976. A driver pulled up whilst they were getting out of the bus at the cinema and proceeded to call them “dirty Noggie c**ts”. Fortunately, their English wasn’t good enough to get the full gist, but they knew he was hostile.

The point of this story is that a proportion of these cretins will always exist, but they’re best ignored. You don’t (as Howard did) exploit their ignorance for political advantage.   

On the whole, the Vietnamese have become great citizens. Have you looked at the national registrar of medicos lately and seen how many Dr Nguyens are listed?

So we could solve the “problem” of boat people drowning quickly and easily. But I wonder if the “problem” has more to do with our attitude towards refugees than it has to do with lives at risk.

We take a tiny proportion of international refugees in this country. We rank 91st (per 1USD per capita) on the list. The Yanks take more refugees (border hoppers) in a weekend than we do in a year.

There is an issue of newly-arrived refugees concentrating in ghettos, usually in the poorer sectors of our major cities, particularly Sydney and Melbourne. This is unfortunate, and it works against assimilation, and scares the bejesus out of the locals.

There is a solution to this. Remember the Australia Card? Ignore the bleatings of the Libertarians, introduce it, make it compulsory for everyone to carry, and pass legislation that sets up immigration zones. Acceptance of citizenship could be made conditional on residence in one of these zones.

Sounds a bit “big-brother”? Perhaps, but I doubt it’s any more totalitarian than offshore processing.

Monday, 25 June 2012

International Teachers' Day



My sister (a teacher) sent me this.

It's American, but relevant here.

Euphenisms

Pic courtesy Shutterstock  The use of euphemisms has always fascinated me, gentle reader. One on-line dictionary defines the meaning of the ...