Unapologetic insolence from an aging subversive

Unapologetic insolence from an aging subversive

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

Fleet Vehicles

Fleet vehicle front tyre
























Fleet vehicles are different.

They are driven without reference to tyre pressures, coolant levels and disc pad condition.

They don’t require washing, vacuuming or cleaning of any kind.

They come fully equipped with empty chip packets, coffee spills on the centre console, and dried nasal effluvia on the dash and steering wheel.

When collected from the fleet garage, they always have just enough fuel to get out into the street, but not quite enough to make the service station one block away.

The spare tyres usually have 5psi or less, and the wheel brace and/or jack is always missing.

The fuel card is often expired, is the wrong one for the vehicle, or has been absent mindedly left in the previous driver’s wallet or purse.

Any diesel fleet vehicle that isn’t an SUV has been misfueled at least once.

If it hasn’t it will be.

The front tyres (most are front driven these days) are almost always bald or showing beads or canvass – the rears almost always pristine. The spare (if it isn’t one of those 80kmh wheelbarrow wheels) will also be pristine.

Centre consoles often contain HRT tabs, used tissues or well waxed ear swabs.

The rego sticker is usually peeling off, or attached with sticky tape after a windscreen replacement. Every fleet car windscreen has at least one major chip, usually directly in your eye line.

Any CD left in the player is always head banging rock or C & W.

Still, they cost a lot less to run than your own car, and driving them beats walking.

Been driving fleet cars for 5 years since I "retired". It's getting to me......

4 comments:

Boy on a bike said...

And judging by the seat adjustment, the last person to drive it was either a dwarf or lurch.

And there are always unexplained dents, scratches and occasionally even a missing bumper. Yes, that happened to me. Thankfully, the army taught me how to inspect a vehicle before operating it, so I was never pinged for it, but how the previous driver thought they could get away with it....losing a bumper and then just parking it in the garage and returning the keys.

cav said...

I looked after a fleet of 28 vehicles. Make one person responsible for each one.

They get to drive it home, then they think it's theirs.

1735099 said...

Not a bad idea Cav, except it qualifies as "home garaging" and incurs the dreaded FBT.

cav said...

Yes too true, unless you visit a school on the way to the office.

Blog Archive